Monday, February 12, 2007

No-Lovin' Books

I am back in NYC, finally. I have been a bad blogger, I know, but it was all I could do to answer emails the past ten days. Luckily the always wonderfulDoppelganger had this idea about date-given books to help me ease my way back onto the internet.

Like the big D, this list will be largely theoretical for me too since I have had very few formal dates to speak of. But in the long, friendly courtship, there is plenty of time to recieve books. Here is my list of "you've got to be kidding" presents, both real and imagined:

1- Like D, a book by Charles Bukowski with the addition of William Burroughs & Hunter S.- so you like to drink, do drugs and be generally destructive/self-destructive; hmm, that sure sounds like fun. Worse, you don't do any of the above, you just fantasize about a dissapated life. I don't quite know why, but I have always associated a love of thse guys so rabid that a man would assume that I had never heard of them with being a real dud in the sack.

2- Anything by a Beat, especially Kerouac- get a fucking job!

3- The Fall by Albert Camus- This book gets extra barfs because it was given to me by a Frenchman. He was cute and all, but obviously had no imagination. While that may not have been the biggest impediment to getting to know each other better, it made me not really want to respond to the hilarious and passionate email he later sent to the bookstore where we met. [Hey Steve and Margs, remember this guy?]

4- Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick- dude, I told you about this book when we were 15. Plus, it's not even that good.

5- Ishmael by Daniel Quinn- You have absolutely no idea who I am. Just because it has a monkey in it doesn't mean it is good. Also, you are wearing sandals that I hadn't noticed before; also, you are drooling.

6- Any self help book- It's called self help, ya dig? So keep it to yourself.

I'm sure if I think about this long enough, I can add more to the list, especially those personal anecdotes you guys so enjoy.

What gift books make the blood flow back to your head?

ETA: a "books that make me wanna do ya" list is in the works. Edited also to make this entry slightly less ughster.


Doppelganger said...

Re Ishmael:

I know! I got the title wrong on my site because I'm a stupidhead, but I'm not too stupid to know that book sucked harder than a vacuum factory. If that were the first book I ever read, it would put me off reading forever. All the other books in the world should get together and file a class action suit against that book for besmirching the good name of book-dom.

Doppelganger said...

Also, I'm now insisting that everyone I know call me Big D.

moonlight ambulette said...

tee hee! i nominated YOU for a b.o.b!

Carrie said...

Big D: as you should.
MA: aww, thanks!