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Friday, September 25, 2009

Who cares about books? Let's look at deformed heads!

So, how did you find my blog? Did you Google an author and find one of my reviews? Perhaps you followed a link from another site touting my awesomeness. Maybe you even looked for me after we met somewhere.

Or, maybe, like the people below, you just poured your heart out to the internet and got stuck with me (search terms in bold):

makeminebig.com- Do not send money! It will not work!
in exile, self-imposed- Yes, there are many lessons about creating this condition on tryharder. How to relieve it, not so much.
short excitement stories- The short ones are my favorite.
deformed head- Hmm…
deformed heads- Urr…
deformed heads pic- Just heads, or would you be fine with something else?
deformed head picture- Oh, ok. Deformed heads it is.
pictures of deformed heads- No need to get all fancy and use a phrase; you still won’t find such pictures here. Try Morbid Anatomy.
deformed brain picture- Well, that’s a whole nother thing…
adults with deformed heads pictures- I think pictures of children with deformed heads would be much cuter. No? Ok.
i think my head is deformed- You think? Be decisive.
i have a deformed head- That’s better.
i was born with deformed head, can i find love?- You are obviously not the only one. That’s something at least!
take deformed pictures- Here’s a thought: how about you take a normal picture of a deformed head? Lots of folks are looking for those.
how to surprise a gal- Maybe with a pic of a deformed head? They are very popular right now.
child bottoms voyeur- This is why Germans have a bad reputation.
shaved from head to toe- This is why New Zealanders should.
school quotes to make you work harder or try harder- How about “We don't pay anything, but you'll get a byline!”
how do i get my child to try harder- See above.
pray on my ass- hott.
what are in a nerds vocabulary?- Start with subject/verb agreement and go from there.
stories of strip tease contest- Those types of stories are full of drama.
frankenhooker where is my- … Garter belt? Chainsaw? Face?
how to try harder to make love better- I’m not sure that Googling is the best first step for this.

5 comments:

Amanda said...

I received an awesome spam the other day, which suggested I should contact a particular website "to determine your weenie's fitness for combatability".

I am unsure where they were going with that sentence--should I consult their site to determine whether my "weenie" is COMPATIBLE with someone I am hoping to hump? Were they seriously recruiting for, ahem, some wiener wars?

And, in the wake of my summer romance coming to an end and my suspicion that the gentleman was not..."fully operational" down below...what of the irony that I receive such a spam now?

Hahahaha...soooo great, the things the Internet sends our way. And, apparently, the ways people get sent your way by the Internet!

T(h)om said...

I found your blog when I searched for "how do i get tom child to try harder." Still wondering...

Holy Prepuce! said...

Maybe the person who thinks her head is deformed has trouble being decisive because the shape of her head has deformed her brain in such a way as to interfere with decision making. Did you ever consider that before you so callously told her to "be decisive?" It's assumptions like these that prevent those of us with craniofacial deformities from finding love.

looka said...

It was your comment on Chucks Blog, comment Monster...

looka said...

I like your last phrase Amanda!