For Francis

So now that I have finally completed the reviews for 2006 in my own unfocused and slipshod way, I can lecture you about the environment. Because of the glitter of YouTube fame, sludgie is on hiatus, so I am without my daily dose of enviro-anger n laffs, so I will have to cobble together my own helpful and haranguing hippie post. Beware of the smell!

A few nights ago I had a dream about my recently purchased outdoor composter. Yes, kids, I spent money on a trashcan with holes in it, shaming my DIY ethos and self-proclaimed resourcefulness. If you live in the NYC and have proof, you too can get an outdoor composter at a discounted price and tips on how to start it (fall is the time) from these folks. For more composting events, lookie here.

Now you are saying, Carrie, my apartment is fucking tiny and my life is a miserable wreck! How could I possibly set aside space and time to compost? This is what I say to you: stop yer bitchin.

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If you are a successful businessperson who has much dry cleaning each week, or just look like one, this service journalism is for you:

How to make intriguing, City-accepted Giant Waste Candies for the Rich and/ or Classy.

Want to delight the trashmen and assuage your conscience by rocking the recycle, reduce, reuse trio? Well, avoid buying expensive and annoying clear recycling bags by using your old dry-cleaning sheaths as bags for your cans of caviar, shredded financial documents and Crystal bottles.

Step one: retrieve your dry cleaning and marvel at how sexy you look in pressed pants.
Step two: put on some crisp duds, and remove the plastic from the hangers. Set hangers aside for eventual return to the dry cleaners or to give away on freecycle.
Step 3: in a swift motion befitting of your breeding and social station, tie the hanger end of the sheath in a simple knot, as close to the bottom as you can.
Step 4: fill the newly created bag with sorted recyclables ¾ of the way to the top.
Step 5: tie off the end and take to the curb on your appointed pick up days.What you will have now should look like a giant hard candy.
Step 6: emit a jaunty chuckle at how easy it is to be fabulous AND green.
Step 7: mentally chastise yourself for saying fabulous, even though it wasn’t out loud.

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Those wonderful freecycle nyc folks are having another live event in Feburary. Here’s the trunacated announcement text:

FREECYCLE™ NEW YORK CITY
POST HOLIDAY REGIFTING FREEMEET!

Saturday, February 3, 2007
11am - 4pm
at the Harlem YMCA(in the Little Theatre)
180 West 135th Street at 7th Ave.
New York, NY 10030
*FREE*

Bring your reusable items and take that which you can
use. You don't need to bring anything to take anything
(though a tote bag might help).

Leftover items will be donated to local charities to
the extent possible.

*Come early if you’re dropping things off (before
3pm). Please bring portable items only. Log on to
www.Freecycle.org to find new homes for furniture and
other heavy items.

These events are always fun. Just go. Sadly, I will be out of town…