Monday, January 31, 2011

I have a little something over at The Rumpus, third item down.

I don't know what the selection process was like, but I'd like to imagine that there was one. I'm glad it was chosen, as I am trying to work out some things for my zine. I was so excited that I told some people at work, who, of course, wanted to read it. Then the shame of having written something sad and true, a shame I am trying to get over, reared its ugly head and I wished I hadn't said anything at all.



Sara said...

I'm sending you a hug, chica!

I always get that shame when I try to write about my family, because I have this irrational fear that if I write something sad it will be somehow burdensome for the reader. I also feel disenfranchised from my experience, like the other people in my family are more entitled to sad or painful feelings, but because I'm in New York and I'm doing okay now, I ought to be fixing the situation for everyone else or something. Then I react to the fear by being obtuse or making weird jokes and in the end whatever I've written just seems anxious and nonsensical. I wish I could get over that!

It's so brave of you to write about your brother, and I loved your piece.

Carrie said...

Yes, Sara, yes.
I've found that it gets easier with practice. I also have discussed many of the things you brought up with a ton of people and kind of have it worked out in my head, so my path to writing is clearer.

Good luck with your writing and feel free to show anything you like to me.

Sarah said...

This is lovely! I like the "burden of sisterhood" contrasted with the way the rest of the relationship is described with a peacefulness.

What is your zine going to be like?

Carrie said...

Sarah, well, i don't want to talk too much about the zine because it isn't done yet and I find that if I talk about my projects too much, they don't get done! A basic rundown is that it will be a perzine about grief and maybe other things, but mostly that. I have some other things planned for different issues, but I need to focus on the first one for now.